NATASHA STEBBINS
SPMS “TRAIN YOUR BRAIN” COUNSELOR This is a common question when it comes to anxiety and the range of moods tweens and teens often experience. Our child experiences distress and we wonder, “Is this normal?”. It makes sense that we have been exploring this question as a society, considering the rates of anxiety (and other mental health concerns) in children, adolescents and adults have been on the rise for some time, with a dramatic increase following the Covid pandemic, and it’s not just the pandemic. Our youth today are concerned about a myriad of issues, including the climate crisis, school shootings and the war in Ukraine, to name a few. So, if you have wondered whether your own child’s anxiety levels are normal, you are definitely not alone. Anxiety in and of itself is, of course, normal. We need a certain amount of stress and anxiety to accomplish the things that need to get done. However, there is a saturation point in which anxiety can take over and reach levels that make it difficult to get anything done. Considering that anxiety is not only normal, but even necessary at times, exploring its normalcy may not be as effective as assessing whether the anxiety is helpful or unhelpful. In other words, is the stress or anxiety leading to helpful action, or is it interfering with functioning? An Example: Your child wants to attend the upcoming dance, but isn’t sure if they want to go because they don’t know if any of their friends are going? This sounds like a very typical experience for a middle schooler. Even adults can feel a bit nervous to attend a party when they are unsure as to whether they will know anyone there. How is the child’s anxiety affecting them in this situation? On one end the stress may motivate them to communicate with friends to ask whether they are going to the dance. On the other end, the anxiety could lead them to feeling despair that paralyzes them from reaching out to friends and instead the child chooses to isolate and not attend the dance, despite wanting to go. Even the latter response is in the realm of normal because middle schoolers are just starting to navigate the social world independently. However, it doesn’t sound very helpful if the child can’t move past the worry at some point in their social development and isolation becomes a pattern, rather than the exception. In reality, it’s difficult to deduce how critical a situation is from one event and more often than not we need to look at the bigger picture to get a better understanding. Given that each child and each situation is unique, it can be helpful to ask yourself and/or your child some questions:
If you have specific questions about your child and their wellbeing, please email me at [email protected], so we can discuss your child's unique situation. Helpful Articles: Supporting vs. Enabling - https://childmind.org/article/supporting-vs-enabling-a-child-with-challenges/ What To Do (and Note Do) When Children Are Anxious - https://childmind.org/article/what-to-do-and-not-do-when-children-are-anxious/ ForgetWeed, Wine and Xanax: Science Has Better Ways to Treat Anxiety - https://www.newsweek.com/2022/10/21/forget-weed-wine-xanax-science-has-better-ways-treat-anxiety-1750921.html Young People Need Experiences That Boost Their Mental Health - https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-022-03172-y?mkt_tok=MjEwLVlJUi0wODUAAAGHbBguUDwx-4uj7CWkeeFwxEkrbdzLMIdI5Tlgwn9sczKDPuEYVj3Not0LYMGs-tZpUBpRAIPVYOFuUte29vy7IvhkJS73dA3Js7ZR
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Natasha StebbinsNatasha is the TYB Specialist & Social Worker at SPMS. Natasha shares her insights on mental health and adolescents in these articles, based on over 15 years of working with children in the field of social work and mental health. Archives
October 2023
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